Tool Usage
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Tool Usage
Subject: Tools, for thiose who know how not to use them
SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit'. Will easily wind a tee shirt off your back.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
CHANNEL LOCKS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
HACK SAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal!!
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Also excels at amputations.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
PVC PIPE CUTTER: A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Also very effective at fingernail removal.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. These can also be used to initiate a trip to the emergency room so a doctor can sew up the damage.
SON OF A BITCH TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit'. Will easily wind a tee shirt off your back.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
CHANNEL LOCKS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
HACK SAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal!!
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Also excels at amputations.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
PVC PIPE CUTTER: A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Also very effective at fingernail removal.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. These can also be used to initiate a trip to the emergency room so a doctor can sew up the damage.
SON OF A BITCH TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
Re: Tool Usage
"SON OF A BITCH TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need."
Since I'm a budding mechanic, by trade, I ALWAYS carry a
2-AA LED Maglite, in my left pocket. Had it for over 2 years
now, and have only changed batteries.
Don't know just how many times this flashlight has been
my SOB tool of choice!
Oh, boss's wife doesn't approve of my profanity, but the
ONLY time I hear the boss do an F-Bomb, is talking to
or referring to, her!
steve
Since I'm a budding mechanic, by trade, I ALWAYS carry a
2-AA LED Maglite, in my left pocket. Had it for over 2 years
now, and have only changed batteries.
Don't know just how many times this flashlight has been
my SOB tool of choice!
Oh, boss's wife doesn't approve of my profanity, but the
ONLY time I hear the boss do an F-Bomb, is talking to
or referring to, her!
steve
10 ER, stripped down.
Basic 10ER, Parts machine. Will be a semi-dedicated drill-press machine.
10 ER, a "survivor" of the trailer fire, in the back yard, needing restoration. Has a Mk5 headrest. Finally, stripped down.
Numerous parts, for Model 10 stuff. Except for lower saw guard, A and B adapters, I've got it.
Looking for one more, or some 9 inch extension table raisers.
Basic 10ER, Parts machine. Will be a semi-dedicated drill-press machine.
10 ER, a "survivor" of the trailer fire, in the back yard, needing restoration. Has a Mk5 headrest. Finally, stripped down.
Numerous parts, for Model 10 stuff. Except for lower saw guard, A and B adapters, I've got it.
Looking for one more, or some 9 inch extension table raisers.
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Re: Tool Usage
You must be hanging out with me after work!!!skou wrote:"SON OF A BITCH TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need."
Since I'm a budding mechanic, by trade, I ALWAYS carry a
2-AA LED Maglite, in my left pocket. Had it for over 2 years
now, and have only changed batteries.
Don't know just how many times this flashlight has been
my SOB tool of choice!
Oh, boss's wife doesn't approve of my profanity, but the
ONLY time I hear the boss do an F-Bomb, is talking to
or referring to, her!
steve
KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE EQUALS WISDOM. Albert Einstein
The Greatness officially starts
Greenie, Grayling, SS stand alone BS and BS SPT, jointer and belt sander, 3 Ers with Speed Changers. I think those 3 cover my ER needs, and space for them.
The Greatness officially starts
Greenie, Grayling, SS stand alone BS and BS SPT, jointer and belt sander, 3 Ers with Speed Changers. I think those 3 cover my ER needs, and space for them.
Re: Tool Usage
If you guys take up knitting we are all in trouble!!
Hobbyman2
Hobbyman2
Hobbyman2 Favorite Quote: "If a man does his best, what else is there?"
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)
Re: Tool Usage
Leaf blower: used to blow dust from benches and machines and deposit said dust on other benches and machines.
The "where the Hell did I Put it" tool. Term most often applied to pencils, tapes and small squares. Rarely used in conjunction with the Shopsmith.
The "where the Hell did I Put it" tool. Term most often applied to pencils, tapes and small squares. Rarely used in conjunction with the Shopsmith.
- JPG
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- Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2008 7:42 pm
- Location: Lexington, Ky (TAMECAT territory)
Re: Tool Usage
True only IF you have several long 5/32" SS tool kits laying around.Gene Howe wrote:Leaf blower: used to blow dust from benches and machines and deposit said dust on other benches and machines.
The "where the Hell did I Put it" tool. Term most often applied to pencils, tapes and small squares. Rarely used in conjunction with the Shopsmith.
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Goldie(Bought New SN 377425)/4" jointer/6" beltsander/12" planer/stripsander/bandsaw/powerstation /Scroll saw/Jig saw /Craftsman 10" ras/Craftsman 6" thicknessplaner/ Dayton10"tablesaw(restoredfromneighborstrashpile)/ Mark VII restoration in 'progress'/ 10E[/size](SN E3779) restoration in progress, a 510 on the back burner and a growing pile of items to be eventually returned to useful life. - aka Red Grange
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Goldie(Bought New SN 377425)/4" jointer/6" beltsander/12" planer/stripsander/bandsaw/powerstation /Scroll saw/Jig saw /Craftsman 10" ras/Craftsman 6" thicknessplaner/ Dayton10"tablesaw(restoredfromneighborstrashpile)/ Mark VII restoration in 'progress'/ 10E[/size](SN E3779) restoration in progress, a 510 on the back burner and a growing pile of items to be eventually returned to useful life. - aka Red Grange
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- Location: Arlington, VA
Re: Tool Usage
That's the one thing I don't misplace. It lives in the right-hand pocket of my Shopsmith apron. Everything else becomes a "Where's Waldo" episode.True only IF you have several long 5/32" SS tool kits laying around.
Re: Tool Usage
Magnets hold mine to the leg. Same with the chuck key. Chuck lives in a drawer. Don't ask why the key doesn't live with it because, I don't know.davebodner wrote:That's the one thing I don't misplace. It lives in the right-hand pocket of my Shopsmith apron. Everything else becomes a "Where's Waldo" episode.True only IF you have several long 5/32" SS tool kits laying around.
Re: Tool Usage
I just assumed that's what the holes were for
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Ed
Shopsmith: 2 Mark V 510 (1988,1993), bandsaw, jointer, mounted planer, belt sander, scroll saw, strip sander, lathe duplicator, conical disc sander, biscuit joiner, free standing router table with Jointech IPM-1
Other stuff: Bosch glide mitre, Ridgid 13" planer, Rikon drill press, routers, drills, and other toys
Shopsmith: 2 Mark V 510 (1988,1993), bandsaw, jointer, mounted planer, belt sander, scroll saw, strip sander, lathe duplicator, conical disc sander, biscuit joiner, free standing router table with Jointech IPM-1
Other stuff: Bosch glide mitre, Ridgid 13" planer, Rikon drill press, routers, drills, and other toys
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- Gold Member
- Posts: 469
- Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:38 pm
- Location: Arlington, VA
Re: Tool Usage
My chuck key lives in my chuck, mounted as if it were a drill bit. My chuck is...I'm not sure, but I'm sure I can find it!Magnets hold mine to the leg. Same with the chuck key. Chuck lives in a drawer. Don't ask why the key doesn't live with it because, I don't know.
My factory wrench lives in a hole. My nice T-handled one I always want on me.I just assumed that's what the holes were for